Changing without being present
by Rogercat
Summary: Even in the Halls, Argon changed over the years despite not being with his living family


_**Changing without being present**_

Dying in the very first battle against the Orcs had not been exactly what Arakáno planned. On the other hand, he was logical enough to realize that it could very well have been someone else, for the followers of his father had been weakened by the long journey to cross the Grinding Ice, all while fearing to step on a thin layer of ice and fall into the freezy cold waters.

"Might as well try to find Elenwë and tell her that my brother and niece managed to arrive to Middle-Earth safely…"

It was not like he expected to be reborn very soon anyway. By following his family into Exile, he had lost the trust from the Valar.

~X~X~X~X~X~X

Time passed. It had been pleasant to see that his family and relatives still lived, but Arakáno found himself very annoyed with the second-eldest brother in the sibling group when Turukáno basically locked himself away in Gondolin.

"You are not going to be of much help to Atar and our brother against Morgoth that way, you idiot…"

His sister Írissë was so furious when her husband arrived only a few hours after herself, and learnt how he had died.

"_**THAT IDIOT MADE OUR SON A ORPHAN!?**_"

Knowing Írissë well enough, Arakáno kept away from her when she ranted about Turukáno not using his head to think of how this would affect poor Maeglin, but somehow he made a more likeable first impression by Eöl.

"Dying in battle may not the most glorious death, but you did try to at least protect people from those vermins called orcs."

"...thank you?" Arakáno said in Quenya, having tried to learn Sindarin from Elves who had lived in Beleriand before the return of the Noldor to Middle-earth but he still was not sure if he could pronounce the words understandable. Based on the civil nod Eöl did, it had been passable enough.

And then the battles started. Arakáno knew that he could not offer much help in healing, but he still tried to reach out to his cousins, holding them tightly during the first days in the Halls as they struggled to accept that yes, they were really dead and in the care of Mandos.

"**By Eru! **_**Atar!**_"

His father looked so broken from the injures he had suffered in the duel against Morgoth. Ñolofinwë did not regret doing the duel, though he did agree that it had not been the kindest way to let Findekáno become the new High King of the Exiled Noldor.

"I am so glad to finally see you again, my boy…"

The words made Arakáno cry openly, as Ñolofinwë allowed his youngest son to hold him tightly without a sign of the pain it caused him in spirit form because the damage was still so raw after just arriving to the Halls.

And then Findekáno….

"I am glad that there was someone in the family to welcome us," he attempted to joke, after that Írissë had nearly strangled him with the long scarf she used to try and hide the wound in his head where the killing blow had hit.

"Do you even realize how much I have wanted to help you all, but was stuck here?!"

Now Arakáno was really distressed. His young nephew, little Gil-galad, had inherited the crown from Fingon at only 22 years of age, Turukáno had basically run back to Gondolin and once again shut himself off from the outside world, which most likely was going to come back to haunt the second brother as as a really bad idea in the long run. It was impossible to guess what Idril might do, since she was stuck in Gondolin as well.

"I just wanted to help any of you…"

His father and siblings hugged him together as Arakáno wept over what could have been, had his fate just been a little bit different.

~X~X~X~X~X~X

Arakáno knew that he had changed, on the day he was reborn and once again met with his mother Anairë. He was no longer the trustful, innocent prince he had been before the Darkening of Valinor. The First Kinslaying and the Grínding Ice had hardened him for the more unpleasant side of life as well.

"I am so glad that you could return…"

But that was not something Anairë or her youngest son cared about in that very moment, right now they were just happy to be together again, with the rest of their family hopefully being reborn in the future as well. Arakáno had been allowed first, for despite everything else, he had carried the "least taint" of the wars against Morgoth in him, according to Namo.

"Atar and my siblings sends their greetings for you, ammë, and promises to show up soon. However, my second brother and brother-in-law both request to not be visiting at the same time, they are not exactly...fond of each other due to that first impression of the other in Gondolin and all that mess with Írissë's unfortunate son."

She nodded in agreement over what he told her.

"I am very disappointed in my second-born son as well, over his actions. He will learn that his reputation among those who once lived in that closed-off city of his, is very low nowadays."

Arakáno was not surprised at all. Having your own home become a death trap was not exactly something most people would get over, not when the ruler of said place refused to let them leave until it was too late.


End file.
